Oooooopsssssss I did it AGAIN!!!

OH NO!!!! I did it today. I was driving on Route 17 to Barnes and Noble and someone cut me off and I went into the WORST rage EVER! I honked! I cursed! I even flipped the driver off! Basically, I did everything I shouldn't have. I need to learn to control myself. I know. It was a stupid thing to yell about. I just had to yell! Ugh! I guess it's not as easy as it sounds. I guess I need to find out the tips to control my anger.

Learn To IGNOREEEE!!!

What are anger invitations? Simple. Chances to BECOME ANGRYYYYYY!!!!!!What I have to do? Ignore the less important invitations. Learn to yell over what's important, not like when my brother steals my IPOD or my mom misplaces my pants. (I guess I'm guilty there. Ooops!!) I have to be angry at the BIG things, like when someone insults me or someone I care for. Fight for the things that will last me FOREVER. I HAVE to work on that.

When thinking about it, this is kind of common sense but I was given this information through the book, Letting Go of Anger... by Ronald T. Potter-Efron and Patricia S. Potter-Efron. I am finding that this book gives some REALLY good tips and advice.

Where to Start

First step: Be flexible! In order for my journey to work, I have to be open to new things. I can't be afraid. I have to try new things that I may not want to do in order to be anger-free. Okay. That doesn't seem so hard.

Second step: Recognize that anger is a part of life. Everyone gets angry. OKAY! So I'm not the ONLY one who gets angry like I do. I know not everyone can be perfect at all times. If we were happy all the time, that would be scary and really creep me out. I think THAT would make me angrier than anything else.

Third step: Accept anger for what it is. It means that something is wrong in my life. I need to look for the root of the problem. That could be a little harder to do, but it's manageable.

This is just the beginning but I think I can do this!!!

This information was found in my other novel, Transforming Anger by Doc Childre and Deborag Rozman, Ph.D. This novel was great in giving me the steps to manage and overcome my anger.

MY Anger Type

What I found out at first is that anger can to some extent be considered "healthy", as long as a person can handle it in the right way. I also found out that there are types to what kind of anger a person has. I took a quick YES/NO survey and were given a series of statements like: My anger comes on really fast. I act before I think I get angry. My anger goes away quickly. I answered YES to these questions as well as many other similar ones. This showed that I have anger that is classified as sudden anger. Thinking back on some of my anger stories, I wasn't surprised.

This is referring to the quiz that I took in my book, Letting Go of Anger: The Eleven Most Common Anger Styles & What to Do About Them, by Ronald T. Potter-Efron. This quiz was located in the first couple of pages.

Characteristics

In my last entry, I told you what kind of anger I had. I further looked into it and found out some of the characteristics of my anger type. My anger comes out from nowhere, destroys everything, yet passes very quickly. I thought about it. I'm like a thunderstorm in the summer. I get this sudden burst of energy to yell, yet it passes quickly. Many times, I'll get upset. I'm not the type of person to bottle up my emotions, so I'll let it all out. I'll make as much damage as I see fit, and finish my rants. After my fits, I find myself regretting my actions and completely forget why I was yelling or realize that my actions were STUPID and completely unnecessary.

Thanks to my book, Letting Go of Anger: The Eleven Most Common Anger Styles & What to Do About Them, by Ronald T Potter-Efron, there is an entire first chapter devoted to helping people identify their anger types. I took to help me find out what kind of anger I had.

What I have to do

I'm not ALWAYS angry. In actuality, I consider myself a pretty happy person. But at times, something happens and I SNAP. I yell, I throw things, and I seem to become this person that I don't know. I feel bad every time after my "anger fits" and tell myself that I won't ever do this again. Unfortunately, to my dismay, this never works out. I WANT to change. NO. I WILL CHANGE. I will fix my problem. I will overcome my temper and anger issues. FIRST STEP: identify what kind of anger I have.

"Diseases of the Brain"

I really do believe that personal issues like depression and addiction are "diseases of the brain". I believe that a person does not choose to develop issues like these. No one wants to be addicted to alcohol or drugs and nobody wants to be depressed. They may make a decision that leads them down that road, yet once they are on it, I believe that all control is lost. My uncle was an alcoholic. Yes, he chose to drink, yet after a certain point, he lost all control. Alcohol consumed his life, and although he tried everything to stop, he just couldn't. His body got so use to it, and after awhile, it became a disease, something that was always with him, even though he didn't want it.

What is your unique outlook on life in general? What type of attitude do you have towards the world around you?

I believe that everyone has a purpose in this world and that everyone will accomplish something great, even if only a few people witness it. Accomplishing something great doesn’t just mean that you have to make billions of dollars or become a movie star. You can become the most important person to just one person and that can be so fulfilling. Enjoy life and don’t get caught up in striving for an unrealistic dream.

How have your parents disciplined you over the years? How have these patterns shaped who you are? How has your environment shaped you?

My parents never really disciplined me as a child and they don’t now as well. I think they just taught me from a very young age what I should and shouldn't’t be doing. We have built such a strong relationship that I don’t feel that I can’t share most things with them. Of course, there are things that I keep private, yet I know that it is nothing that can get me into trouble. My parents yell at me when I have done something wrong, yet without heavy discipline I feel I have won their respect and trust, which are two very important things. I think this has made me into a happy person and have grown in an environment that gives me my freedom, yet reminds me when I need to rethink something.